Another Panic Attack

Yesterday night i got one panic attack. Well, i went to bed late night from computer and slept, soon i jumped off the bed feeling crazy and thinking oh no i am getting an attack. I dont know why i was thinking about the one i loved. Afterall its all because of her, but still i had no serious thoughts about her in my mind. I could feel all that in my heart. Then i said myself yes its Obsession. I just put a hand on my chest and asked myself what am i going to say to my psychiatrist when i visit him next time? I can feel that just in my heart. Why does it feels in my heart. Is this what really Obsession is? I felt crazy, i was running all over the house while everyone else were sleeping. I felt like telling it to my parents about what was happening to me but i dont know why may be i was embarassed to ask them to comfort me. Then i told my grandmother who sleeps in my room and i went close to her hugged her holded her hand and tried to sleep. I told her i was not feeling well and that i was suffocating. She is pretty close to me so i didnt mind telling her. I felt really nice by hugging her and was able to sleep as i had already taken one Anti Dep 2 hours ago. But then i thought for how long am i going to get comfort from her. She will die soon, i really hope not so soon, but i was just thinking what after her death. I will be left all alone. There will be no one to comfort me. Obsessive persons think that only the one they are obsessed about can bring back happiness by marrying them and being with them. Thats a fact and yes its true in my case, very much. Then i thought the girl i loved so much, the one i am obsessed about wont marry me and wont be with me forever, which hurts. I tried my best to get her out of my head and those sad hurting thoughts. As i was close to granny with her hand on me i felt nice already and i was able to sleep peacefully.